Below are Van Slyke’s comments with my notes about the things he said. My notes are bolded.
Van Slyke: “In Seattle, we had (Nelson) Cruz, who was probably the most dominant hitter that I’ve ever personally seen for four months and Cano hitting in front of him.
Hey, Andy Van Slyke, you must have forgotten that you played with Barry Bonds. Nelson Cruz had a great four months last year, but Bonds was better in the last four months of the 1992 season, when you, Andy Van Slyke, were his teammate with the Pittsburgh Pirates:
So you would think that Cano would have had a terrific year. But he had probably the worst single year of an every day player that I’ve ever seen in 20 years at the big league level.”
This is ridiculous. Claiming that Cano had the worst single year of an every day player that he’s ever seen in 20 years at the big league level? Are you kidding me, Andy Van Slyke? Hyperbole much? You should put on some boots because the horse manure you’re spreading is ankle-deep.
Did you ever see Chone Figgins play for the Mariners (-1.2 WAR in 2011)? How about 2009 Yuniesky Betancourt (-2.5 WAR)? Robinson Cano’s 2015 season wasn’t that bad overall. He started poorly but was great from mid-June on. His overall numbers weren’t that bad, certainly not even close to the worst single year of an every day player in 20 years.
Host: “How did that happen?”
Van Slyke: “He was just the most awful player I’ve ever seen.”
No he wasn’t. You’re a liar and your boots are now filled with manure. When you walk, it makes squishy sounds. And gives off an unpleasant aroma.
Host: “It wasn’t work ethic. He tries.”
Van Slyke: “He does sometimes.”
Oh, listen to you, Andy Van Slyke. “He does sometimes.” You’re a whiny, little bitch, Andy Van Slyke. You reek of bull feces.
Host: “So what happened there, so much promise for your club after you and Lloyd McClendon joined two years ago. What happened last year?”
Van Slyke: “Well our bullpen blew up. Fernando Rodney was horrible. He blew nine of the first 18 chances.
This is not true. Rodney was not good last year but he successfully converted 12 of his first 13 opportunities and 15 of his first 18. That’s much different than blowing 9 of his first 18 chances. If you do the math, it is six games different.
I’m beginning to think you really like to exaggerate things, Andy Van Slyke. You’re a liar and an exaggerator. I don’t even care if that’s not a word. Also, you stink.
Your highest paid, supposedly best player – I mean Robbie’s not a bad guy, let me say that before I say anything bad about how he played. But Robinson Cano was the single worst third-place, every-day player I’ve ever seen – I’ve ever seen for the first half of a baseball season. He couldn’t drive home Miss Daisy if he tried. He couldn’t get a hit when it mattered.
Let’s go back in time to find a third-place, everyday player who had a terrible half season. This is someone near and dear to the heart of Andy Van Slyke. This happened to be the second half of the 1989 season and this player was an everyday player who batted third in the lineup and his name was . . . Andy Van Slyke:
He played the worst defense I’ve ever seen at second base. I mean I’m talking about the worst defensive second baseman ever – I’ve ever seen in 20 years in the big leagues.
Since 2001, there have been three seasons in which a second baseman made more than 20 errors and all three seasons were by Alfonso Soriano. Soriano had two other seasons in which he made 19 errors. Robinson Cano may not be very good defensively but to say he’s the worst you’ve ever seen in 20 years, really? C’mon, Andy Van Slyke! The manure you are spreading is waste-high! If you keep talking, you’re going to be neck deep in bullshit and that’s precariously close to your big mouth. You better watch out, Andy Van Slyke.
He couldn’t catch the ball.
Yes, that would be a problem for a second baseman if it were true.
No, I take that back. Any ball that was hit to him was an out.
Wait, what?! “Any ball that was hit to him was an out?” You JUST said that he couldn’t catch the ball. Peeeeyewwww, Andy Van Slyke. Stinky, stinky Andy Van Slyke.
Any ball that he had a chance to turn a double play, he’s still maybe the best in the game today. He’s got a great arm.
He may be the best in the game at turning the double play? He has a great arm? Umm, didn’t you JUST SAY that he played the worst defense you’ve ever seen at second base? Am I taking crazy pills? Where’s my air freshener? What are all these flies doing here all of a sudden?
But I’m telling you, Frank: Robinson Cano cost the GM his job.
If Robinson Cano cost Jack Zduriencik his job then Robinson Cano should be named the MVP of the Mariners for 2015. Is it possible that Jack Z lost his job because the Mariners never made the playoffs in the seven years he was GM? Or because they only had two winning seasons in those seven years? Could that maybe have been the reason Jack Z got fired, Andy Van Slyke?
The hitting coach got fired because of Cano. And the manager and the coaches got fired because of Cano.
And Robinson Cano causes cancer and global warming and overpopulation and all the wars on the planet and poverty and starvation. Robinson Cano invented New Coke. Robinson Cano forced the Seahawks to throw an interception at the end of last year’s Super Bowl. Robinson Cano invented Farmville and pop-up ads. Apparently, Robinson Cano is the worst person in the world.
Actually, the Mariners had a bad year and the GM got fired. When a new GM comes in, he will usually hire a new manager and new coaches. I would think you would know this, Andy Van Slyke, manure spreader.
That’s how much impact he has on the organization. He was the worst player and it cost people their jobs in the process.
Hey Andy Van Slyke, guess what? Robinson Cano was not the worst player on the Mariners last year. Do you remember Dustin Ackley hitting .215/.270/.366? Did you see Logan Morrison post a .302 on-base percentage? Can you recall Mike Zunino striking out 34% of the time? If you think Robinson Cano was the worst player on the Mariners last year, then you are a really bad coach. And you are now completely covered in bullshit.